Hi,
It's been a while since I wrote on here. Mainly because I've just been extremely busy with exams and my long summer holidays, but I wanted to talk about something I did on my summer break. I participated in NCS this summer and it was the best thing I have ever done. NCS involves a wide variety of activities that anyone can participate in as long as you are willing to give it a go.
NCS is something I really had to push myself to do, suffering from social anxiety and being thrown into such a social situation honestly petrified me. I've never been good at talking or making friends and as a result of this i become very closed off. Honestly a week before NCS i wanted to quit and not go. I was watching all these videos on YouTube and there were comments about how horrible their time on NCS was. Being 250 miles away from home with 12 people you don't know is knee weakening. Something else that scared me was the idea of being around boy, going to an all girls school has its disadvantages and this being one, I have no idea how to talk to boys.
The first day of NCS included meeting my team. I told myself I was going to be confident and talk to everyone but in reality i sat in the corner with my friend from school and didn't talk to anyone new unless I was forced to. On the coach I was extremely closed off and didn't talk to anyone I watched pretty little liars on my phone wishing I was back and home where no one would judge me. After arriving at Surrey we were put into dorms which were different from our teams we were put in (oh joy, more people to talk to!) The first week envolved outdoor team building activities, I was so quite and didn't contribute at all toward any discussions or ideas unless I was directly spoken to. During the first week I began to open up more and contribute more to activities and tried my hardest no matter how sick it make me feel and made sure to reach out of my comfort zone. All my team became some of the best people I have ever met and after only 5 days I felt like I have know them for years.
The second week was easy in comparison to the first, i wanted the weekend to end so I could get back to everyone I had met. With the second week you're closer to home which has some comfort to it, also developing an area you're passionate about makes it so much easier to want to excel. Again social situation are not my strong point so when we got thrown into a group discussion with another 12 people who I have never met makes me sick to my stomach and when I opted not to take a lead role in the conversation, my team happily respected that and didn't push me to do anything I didn't want to. When the second week came to a close and we had to present to the rest of the wave I was confident enough to talk about what we had done. The last day of week two involves pitching to a dragons den style panel, and I have no idea where my confidence came from but I did it and I was so extremely proud of myself for pushing myself to do new things.
Finally the third week came around and it was the week i was least excited for, it involves campaigning in the city centre for a charity of your choice. I had mastered the art of talking intont of people and participating in group activities and discussions but talking to hundreds of people in a day is the last thing I would ever want to do. At the start I just stood and took a backseat but as the day progressed I found myself being more involved without having to even think about what I was doing and I surprised myself by how well i did.
As a conclusion NCS is the best thing you will ever do in your life you experience things you never thought you would and are encouraged to do the best you can. The more you put in the more you get out. After NCS I feel more confident and willing to do thing I normally wouldn't such as present in class or talk to new people without having to worry about all the possible outcomes as I would have have before. If you're considering doing NCS just do it. Don't think about it and say yes to the challenge and watch yourself develop while building on skills needed for the future. NCS changed my life and I am so happy I said yes.
Katie x
Wednesday, 28 September 2016
Tuesday, 8 March 2016
Hitting the dead end?
Hi,
As most people do before going to sleep i have this huge deep debate in my head about a certain matters, normally it's things that I've said in the day or making up scenarios in my head about meeting the vamps or something stupid like that. But every once in a while I have these deep thoughts about what happens when my nan dies or if i just gave up with school.
You see that's the thing, school. We are forced to go somewhere that makes us so unhappy and stressed. Don't people say do more of what makes you happy. But how can I do this if I'm stuck somewhere that makes me feel like shit and there's no way to get out of it. I'm not bullied or anything I just overthink situations. If there's one snide comment you can guarantee that it's going to be the only thing that I'm thinking about for the rest of the day.
I just want to give up. What's the point of being unhappy and stressed 5 days a week. In school everyone paints this huge mask on their face that they don't study or they don't care. But reality is they do. They D you got in your exam, the one you said didn't bother you. It did and then instead of going home and revising for 2 hours you sit on Instagram and bitch about the teacher who gave you that D. If you are upset by your grade or something at school. Do something to change it. Ask a teacher what you can go next time to get a better grade. Talk to people. Don't feel alone because in a school of 200 people there is going to be someone who wants to talk to you.
Ignore comments thrown at you, whether it's about your grades or something you've done because that's the person behind the comments way of feeling better about themselves. If you don't like they way you feel. Change it. It's your life and YOU are the only one who can do something about the way you're feeling.
Kisses - K
As most people do before going to sleep i have this huge deep debate in my head about a certain matters, normally it's things that I've said in the day or making up scenarios in my head about meeting the vamps or something stupid like that. But every once in a while I have these deep thoughts about what happens when my nan dies or if i just gave up with school.
You see that's the thing, school. We are forced to go somewhere that makes us so unhappy and stressed. Don't people say do more of what makes you happy. But how can I do this if I'm stuck somewhere that makes me feel like shit and there's no way to get out of it. I'm not bullied or anything I just overthink situations. If there's one snide comment you can guarantee that it's going to be the only thing that I'm thinking about for the rest of the day.
I just want to give up. What's the point of being unhappy and stressed 5 days a week. In school everyone paints this huge mask on their face that they don't study or they don't care. But reality is they do. They D you got in your exam, the one you said didn't bother you. It did and then instead of going home and revising for 2 hours you sit on Instagram and bitch about the teacher who gave you that D. If you are upset by your grade or something at school. Do something to change it. Ask a teacher what you can go next time to get a better grade. Talk to people. Don't feel alone because in a school of 200 people there is going to be someone who wants to talk to you.
Ignore comments thrown at you, whether it's about your grades or something you've done because that's the person behind the comments way of feeling better about themselves. If you don't like they way you feel. Change it. It's your life and YOU are the only one who can do something about the way you're feeling.
Kisses - K
Monday, 7 March 2016
Internet Friends.
Hi,
Today I wanted to talk about something that is very important to me, my friends, in particular my 'internet' friends. I put internet in quote marks because does it really matter how you make friends. This is a topic I have put a lot of thought into and I just want to share my views on it. When I talk to my friends at school about my internet friends I see them switch off and just don't pay attention, because it is something you don't appreciate until it is something that you are a part of.
In school or work you have so many people you can start to talk to and from that you gain common interests, hobbies etc., but it is a complete game changer when you start to talk to someone because of a common interest, in most instances people start talking because of a band or someone famous. But once you get beyond the talk of the initial interest they become like any other friends that you may have, sometimes they are even better.
With people on the internet you almost start a fresh and you give the impression that you want to give out, in social situations it is easier for people to judge you, on the internet you don't have to worry about being judges for something you did 3 years ago, you tell them things when you are ready and don't have to worry about it getting around to them through rumors that are only 20% true.
So does it really matter how you meet your friends, all that's important is how they make you feel and how they impact your life. I am eternally grateful for my friends and I don't know what I would do with out them, I love you all so much
Kisses - K
Today I wanted to talk about something that is very important to me, my friends, in particular my 'internet' friends. I put internet in quote marks because does it really matter how you make friends. This is a topic I have put a lot of thought into and I just want to share my views on it. When I talk to my friends at school about my internet friends I see them switch off and just don't pay attention, because it is something you don't appreciate until it is something that you are a part of.
In school or work you have so many people you can start to talk to and from that you gain common interests, hobbies etc., but it is a complete game changer when you start to talk to someone because of a common interest, in most instances people start talking because of a band or someone famous. But once you get beyond the talk of the initial interest they become like any other friends that you may have, sometimes they are even better.
With people on the internet you almost start a fresh and you give the impression that you want to give out, in social situations it is easier for people to judge you, on the internet you don't have to worry about being judges for something you did 3 years ago, you tell them things when you are ready and don't have to worry about it getting around to them through rumors that are only 20% true.
So does it really matter how you meet your friends, all that's important is how they make you feel and how they impact your life. I am eternally grateful for my friends and I don't know what I would do with out them, I love you all so much
Kisses - K
Welcome to my blog.
Hi,
Everyone's giving blogs a go so I thought lets jump on the band waggon and join the trend, who know what I will post on here or how often I will do so, but I don't want to feel pressured to do so. This blog will be a very personal thing like penny's blog was to her in Girl Online, but it wont be anonymous as such.
I want to start out by telling you about myself,
My name is Katherine but no one calls me that, I go by the name of Katie or K, I am 15 years old and am current studying for my GCSE's. I don't know where I would be without music and in particular The Vamps, I play and write music as well as listening to it, I have been playing music since I was 7 when I played piano and I now have taken up guitar. something a bit more personal about me is that I suffer from anxiety and have done now for nearly 3 years, I try not to let is bother me but that isn't always possible. Another set back I have is that I'm dyslexic, I'm lucky in the sense that it only effects my spelling so if something is spelt wrong, that's the reason why.
I have all these thoughts and feeling flowing through me that I need to let them out somehow and this was something that I have been thinking about doing for a while, even if no ones reads this or I don't end up publishing this, there just things that I want to get off my chest.
I hope to build a community here and just be there as someone that you can talk to, where I'm not going to judge you as such and in return I hope that you will do the same as this whole idea is kind of terrifying me but the benefits of having this makes me completely forget about it.
As this is my first blog post I want to give you an insight as to what my blog will be like so before Wednesday I will hopefully have a proper first post and I hope that you will read it.
If you have got this far thank you for listening to my ramble and I will talk to you before the end of the week,
Kisses -K
Everyone's giving blogs a go so I thought lets jump on the band waggon and join the trend, who know what I will post on here or how often I will do so, but I don't want to feel pressured to do so. This blog will be a very personal thing like penny's blog was to her in Girl Online, but it wont be anonymous as such.
I want to start out by telling you about myself,
My name is Katherine but no one calls me that, I go by the name of Katie or K, I am 15 years old and am current studying for my GCSE's. I don't know where I would be without music and in particular The Vamps, I play and write music as well as listening to it, I have been playing music since I was 7 when I played piano and I now have taken up guitar. something a bit more personal about me is that I suffer from anxiety and have done now for nearly 3 years, I try not to let is bother me but that isn't always possible. Another set back I have is that I'm dyslexic, I'm lucky in the sense that it only effects my spelling so if something is spelt wrong, that's the reason why.
I have all these thoughts and feeling flowing through me that I need to let them out somehow and this was something that I have been thinking about doing for a while, even if no ones reads this or I don't end up publishing this, there just things that I want to get off my chest.
I hope to build a community here and just be there as someone that you can talk to, where I'm not going to judge you as such and in return I hope that you will do the same as this whole idea is kind of terrifying me but the benefits of having this makes me completely forget about it.
As this is my first blog post I want to give you an insight as to what my blog will be like so before Wednesday I will hopefully have a proper first post and I hope that you will read it.
If you have got this far thank you for listening to my ramble and I will talk to you before the end of the week,
Kisses -K
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